December 22nd - Part Two

I am terrible with a camera.  I never remember to take it with me, but even when I do, I forget to pull it out and both our other computers with all our photographic memories of the last 10 years are on virtual lock down until we can crack their codes... so with that being said:  This is the one post I wish had a thousand pictures on it, but instead -- it will have one.

Mr. Thompson and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary today... and as he is at work this morning, I am being flooded with thoughts of joy and gratitude and awe, not only for my husband, but of my Great Big God who works everything together for the good of those who love him.

The odds were stacked against us.  There is only ONE thing we had going for us, and that is Jesus.  I think (I could say know) we were the only two people on our wedding day that knew without a doubt (call us naive if you will) that getting married was the one thing we could be sure was the one right decision we would ever make.

And we knew it the next day and everyday since.

For most, the story of two kids knowing each other for the whole of 4 1/2 months on the day they committed themselves to each other, expecting a baby in 7 months, and not having more than "a few dimes" to their names at any given moment... is a recipe for disaster.

I was going to say "on a road less traveled" -- but that's not quite an accurate statement now-a-days... I will say: On a road that is far less appealing yet, for some reason, traveled frequently, I am so thankful that God has shown us His merciful favor and given me the husband of any girls dream.  And I am still in awe, everyday, when I wake up next to the most faithful, sacrificing, loving, beyond respectful, beyond patient, and beyond HANDSOME man that God saw fit to bless the likes of ME with.

Though our life as Mr. and Mrs. Thompson has been pockmarked with hardships... our love has only grown deeper with each trial and the "D-word" has never so much as even been whispered.  No cliche about it.

I am giving all the glory to God!  There is no way that in our falling-short-every-second-of-the-day efforts, that a marriage like ours is possible... even with the most ideal of beginnings -- aside from the strength from Jesus and grace of God.

Courtesy of Ben's phone... we got one picture.

We went to the hills for a night.  The first anniversary we've gotten away for, even if just 30 minutes away, since we only had one sweet baby boy eight years ago.  Now we've got 4 and 3/4 sweet babies, and I never dreamed of a life so hard... nor of a life so fulfilled. 

I love you Ben Thompson.  I thank you for giving me the best 10 years of my life this far and I pray... ohhhh, I pray... for at least 100 more.  I'd still have chosen you in a heart beat and knowing what I know now, it would have been even quicker than that.

O, Christmas Tree

O Christmas Tree : Lyrics

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy leaves are so unchanging;
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy leaves are so unchanging;
Not only green when summer's here,
But also when 'tis cold and drear.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy leaves are so unchanging!

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me;
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me;
How often has the Christmas tree
Afforded me the greatest glee!
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me.

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy candles shine so brightly!
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy candles shine so brightly!
From base to summit, gay and bright,
There's only splendor for the sight.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy candles shine so brightly!

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
How richly God has decked thee!
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
How richly God has decked thee!
Thou bidst us true and faithful be,
And trust in God unchangingly.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
How richly God has decked thee! !"

In a season where believers seek to give glory an honor, above all else, to the author of the universe and the Savior of our souls,  some are asking a question...

What is the Christmas tree, really?  Where did it come from?  Pagan or Christian symbol?

I am no scholar, but here is some of what I've found:

• Many Pagan cultures used to cut boughs of evergreen trees in December, move them into the home or temple, and decorate them. This was to recognize the winter solstice.

• During the Roman celebration of the feast of Saturnalia, Pagans did decorate their houses with clippings of evergreen shrubs. They also decorated living trees with bits of metal and replicas of their God, Bacchus.

Fortunately, our modern use of pine trees to celebrate the birth of Jesus (which by the way was not actually on December 25... that is just the day we have chosen to honor his birth) doesn't originate from either of those or any other pagan use of one of God's beautiful creations.

In an article byDr. Richard P. Bucher he points out a few things I never knew about our Christmas tree tradition:

• Karas (sited reference author) has amply demonstrated that evergreens have been a symbol of rebirth from ancient times. Bringing greenery into one's home, often at the time of the winter solstice, symbolized life in the midst of death in many cultures.14 The Romans decked their homes with evergreens and other greenery during the Kalends of January.15 Living trees were also brought into homes during the old German feast of Yule, which originally was a two-month feast beginning in November. The Yule tree was planted in a tub and brought into the home.16 However, the evidence just does not exist which shows that Christians first used trees at Christmas as a symbol of [the above noted] rebirth, nor that the Christmas tree was a direct descendent of the Yule tree. On the contrary, the evidence that we have points in another direction. The Christmas tree appears to be a descendent of the Paradise tree and the Christmas light of the late Middle Ages.

• From the eleventh century, religious plays called "mystery plays" became quite popular throughout Europe. These plays were performed outdoors and in churches. One of the most prevalent of these plays was the "Paradise play." The play depicted the story of the creation of Adam and Eve, their sin, and their banishment from Paradise. The play would end with the promise of the coming Savior and His Incarnation (cf. Gen. 3:15). The Paradise play was simple by today's standards. The only prop on stage was the "Paradise tree," a fir tree adorned with apples. From this tree, at the appropriate time in the play, Eve would take the fruit, eat it, and give it to Adam.

• (...)The tree reminds us of the tree in Eden by which Adam and Eve were overcome and which thrust them into sin. But more importantly, the tree reminds us of the tree by which our sin was overcome, namely the tree upon which Christ Jesus was crucified.  (...)Peter writes, "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed."(...)

Therefore, I do believe that the Christmas tree is a wonderful symbol and reminder of our salvation and forgiveness through Jesus Christ!

Enjoy your tree with all the trimmings... just remember The One and The Gift it represents!

Merry CHRISTmas!

Christmas Calm

It is Christmastime.

Amidst the bustle of days and days, there is a driving need for time and peace. Slow down the frantic to see the King of Glory in everyday. In every minute.

Eligh twirls to The First Noel played by a children's toy... like that moment.

But neccessary life?


Errands and lessons and groceries and visits with friends.  Housekeeping and quiet-times and getting presentable-looking.  Schooling and meal-creating and time to just be.

In-between that which must be done there ARE -- precious moments.

Oh, beware my time-wasters.  Joy-killers.  Life-suckers.
 
... I attempt. I'll call it intention. (Here are seven ways to help ensure your ability to see those moments in your day.  And tomorrow.)

Live unharried to see the sweet moment recurring this day.  To see the opportunities to make someone else's day... to reach beyond and reach through and affect their eternity.  Becuase Jesus came. The infinite God made small babe. Christmas. The one  Precious Moment offered you and me.

And eternity awaits.  Remember this each day and in-between what must be done... there is awe. 

Slowness to rush through and miss it.  It is in the effort of calm and intent these days -- the expectation of something sweet...

Kisses for mama.  Dances for Eligh.

(Google images)

12 weeks.

It is all His grace that has given me twelve weeks.

...and all the more grace when I make it to thirteen.

My dearest friends...

We are having another baby

-Nevermind the tired Sunday afternoon appearance!-

What could be more "100 Years Ago" than having a baby...

Well, that is, having a baby the way we have babies.

At home

 with an experienced midwife.

It has been hard for me to tell people.  I'd much rather wait until I was 20 weeks for the majority of the world to know, but as it is, I already look... well, I don't know how far along I look exactly, but --people are starting to talk...

So there it is.  I've told.

There is this mama, for those of you who are thinking,

"Well, that's just nuts!!  5??" that says,

"If you think my hands are full... you should see my heart."

I love that.

My difficulty with telling people so early stems from five years ago...

I lost two babies (separate pregnancies) about that long ago, both at the 2nd trimester mark (which is what I've hit today, although it appears as if the professionals have moved that mark to 13 weeks...), but since have had two healthy births.  However, even those last two pregnancies were troubled in those transitional weeks from the 1st to 2nd trimester, which contributes to my hesitation to let the world know, for fear that I may have to un-let the world and then some know only weeks later.

This one is the smoothest of the three, but I've been so deeply scarred and conditioned for trouble and dooms-day events, that it is making it difficult to relax and enjoy, while not the morning sickness, the knowledge that there is a precious little life, now around three inches from crown to rump, growing inside me.

I do have one consolation. 

 The Lord has given our baby a name.

"Light"

I take that as a promise of God that my baby will be given life.

And not only that, but that he, or maybe she, has a clear and defined purpose for his life.

I began jotting down names that popped in my head as soon as we found out we were having another baby.  And as experience has proven, Ben and I have a slightly differing preference for names. 

This time he said, "I don't care what the name is as much as I care that it means something."

Probably because our girls names are picked out of thin air just because "I like it!"  So, I thought that before I go any further with the list making, I should make sure of what the names-so-far mean so as not to have a child whose name means, "beast" or "..." well, I can't think of some of the other's I've come across now... I am pregnant remember?  On #5 no less... I have no mind left at this point!!

Anyway!  Point being... I had one boys name on the list, first and middle, along with four girl firsts and middles (girls have always been so much easier for us to agree on!).  I started looking them up.

(Actual names will be revealed later -- these are just the meanings)

Boy: First -  Light  Middle-  White

Girl #1: First- Protected by God (Is he trying to tell me something here?)  Middle-  shining brightly with light

Girl #2: First-  Light  Middle-  Light

Girl #3: First-  Light  Middle-  Light

Girl #4:  First-  Light  Middle- Jewel (and who here knows that precious jewels are nothing with out light?)

So our baby was named.  We (I) stopped looking there.  His or her name is on this list.  We don't know boy or girl yet, nor will we until the birth.  But the Lord gave me a verse for our, presently 3 inch long, Light.

Isaiah 42:6-7 

 I, the LORD, have called You in righteousness,

And will hold Your hand;

I will keep You and give You as a covenant to the people,

As a light to the Gentiles,  

To open blind eyes,

To bring out prisoners from the prison,

Those who sit in darkness from the prison house.

I think our baby is just fine.

  Armfuls of gratitude to the Giver of Grace

and Life.

My Sweet Jesus... He Loves Me All the Same

Last week was a tough week.

... Last year has been a tough year.

I had some real self-pity goin' on when I said, "I know you are God and all, but...

 I don't like you right now."

This morning in church I was thinking about the cross and His gift to me, and I couldn't believe I had so recently said that.  However, I continued:

Forgive me, Jesus.

[BUT]

I am so weary.

I am so hungry.

I know my walk with you is my responsibility... but it's a the Mojave out here!

Not to mention how hard life has turned out to be...

[Remember the good ol' days?]

We had time.

I knew Your presence.

All was right.

[So]

Please return Your hand of blessing on our family.

As if His hand had ever left us. 

I am such an Israelite.

                     Complain.  Whine.  Create for myself.

He reminded me of a passage I had just read on Friday.  In passing, I read a portion of Scripture (Luke 17-  See what the Lord can recall to you if you just take it in??)

   “Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep.

Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field,

‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? 

Won’t he rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink;

after that you may eat and drink’? 

Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? 

So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say,

‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”

God is a great giver -- it is not our right to receive.

Will I only offer praises to him in the times of abundance and apparent blessing?



First Fruits

The cherries have come and gone within 3 days of ripening -- between us and the birds there is not a single cherry left to behold on any of our five cherry trees.  There were three more boats (like the one on top) but already had them pitted before it dawned on me to snap a picture!

This is only the beginning of the fruit -- literally, and figuratively.  Along with the impending apples, pears, apricots (16 trees worth! Yikes!), peaches, and plums... I have a feeling (well, it's more than a feeling... it's more of a well known fact) that God is working out a bountiful harvest of good fruit in our lives through this whole ordeal.

Through missed deadlines, a caved in old well, months of staring at what lay before us in disbelief, and now, leaking water lines...  Somehow, miraculously, we've made it beyond "our current situation" every time. 

I can't wait for this season of work and toil (granted there will always be work to do...) to be over and revel in our task completed.
When we can sit on our front porch, (with it's screens replaced and the current caving in flooring redone) holding hands, and watch our children play; as now, we send them out to play so we can work.  Or, maybe even play with them! 
When we drive up to the house and expell a sigh of relief rather than a sigh of grief.

When I can answer the door to internet providers and book salesmen, etc... to see them smiling with enthusiasm at their prospective work rather than a grimace at what they may see when the door is opened to them.

One situation beyond the next, beyond the next, beyond... and we'll be there, Lord willing.

When all who enter our home find that is a home of peace and refuge and encouragement and

comfort.

My new blogger friend, Carrie,  just posted a beautiful letter that she wants to leave for the new owners of her home when they move... It is what I want to be able to say about this home -- with the obvious details appropriately changed to better reflect our home... Read her letter here.  (If you are so inclined, please be sure to "follow" her blog as she is quite honest and inspirational with an unabashed love for Jesus!  Something refreshing about that, isn't there?)

Yes, God is up to something here... and he only gives good gifts!

^"For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks,

 the door will be opened.

You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 

Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 

 So, if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."  Matthew 7:8-11 NLT

Well, I am currently sitting on the middle of my bed... that is in the middle of our room... because the walls need touching up... so we can put it back together... I should get on that. 

I also have to finish my cherries.

The work really never ends does it?

Oh, the joy of it all.

God, Your Love Is Enough

A lesson from Peter:

(An excerpt from Fish, Peter!)
One night I was in a boat with friends.
A wind pitched the boat up pand down.
Waves nearly drowned us.

Then we saw Jesus walking on the water!
It can't be Jesus, I thought, nobody walks on water.
"Maybe it's a ghost," someone whispered.

"Don't be afraid," we heard him say.
"Jesus, if it is you," I shivered,
"Tell me to come to you."
"Come," he said.

I jumped out of the boat- and walked!
The wind hit me like a wall.
A wave slapped my chin.
I got scared -- and started to sink.

"Help, Lord!" I screamed.
Jesus caught me.
"Why did you stop believing?" he asked...


The Farmhouse Version:

We have so much to do in so little time.
Flooring, wall repairs, kitchen installation, purchases, bathroom installation, getting the well working, getting water heater and pressure tank coordinated and working, painting, lighting, doors...
So much -- we are nearly crumbling under the weight of it all.

Then I heard His voice beckon me through the words of a children's book.
It can't be Jesus.  He doesn't talk to me like that.
Maybe I'm just imagining this is for me.

"I am here.  I am in control."  I heard Him say.
"Jesus.  If this is really you, bid my heart be still." I begged.
"Be still." He said.

I stepped out in peace.  I entered the chaos with a sure foot.
Time flew by in a hurry -- the dust in it's wake stinging my eyes.
Lack of imperitive progress -- it's fist offered a punch to my gut.
I became fearful -- I floundered in the mire.

"Help, Lord!  Things are going awry!" I wailed.
Jesus touched my heart.
"Why did you stop believing?" He asked...


Was this farm not a gift from Him?

Will he give us a fixer-upper yet fail to help us fix it up?

The task at hand appears more and more impossible by the day.  BUT...

My God is God of the impossible. 

I will rest in that.

Let the waters rise...

(You will want to pause the piano music player to watch this.)


*Note:  At the very top of this page I added a bar that makes it easy to donate to World Vision.  Please help in the Japan relief effort!  World Vision is a credible Christian organization that specializes in helping impoverished countries and relief efforts.

Oh the JOY - Freebie Friday!

Sometimes, you meet a new friend...

and from the moment she speaks her first words, all the years you did not know her no longer exist.

She knows exactly who you are, what troubles your mind. Your heart. 

She not only puts into words that which you long to hear but also the words you need to hear.

And you become changed.

I have recently made a friend like that.  And she doesn't even know it yet.

I had not known much of the blogging world until I decided a blog would be a great way to journal our experience ...and let the whole world know what we were doing at the same time! 

As if the whole world would care.

I began looking, searching, finding blogs to get inspiration on how to even embark this endeavor.  And I remembered... I had heard of a blog.  Unknowing that I would find more than a successful blog... I found wisdom.  The Lord, in His GOODNESS, reached through the miles of cyberspace, through the heart of a servant girl, just to touch mine.

My new friend is Ann Voskamp.  She shares her gift of eloquence and annointed wisdom on her blog at http://www.aholyexperience.com/.  I've linked to her site quite a bit in the mere two weeks that my blog has been telling our story. 

Today's Freebie Friday gift comes from a section on her blog called "Free Gifts for You" and is just that!  "A Free Gift for You"... whoever wins it, that is!  It is her list called 10 Points of Joyful Parenting. (click on link to read the 10 points)

I have framed and matted it -- The mat I have covered in a charming cream and earth green fabric. 

I can't compel you strongly enough to enter to win today's giveaway. 

I want to glare. Flesh consumes my desire to live the Light.  I storm. The weakness of one's mind is relative but always true.  My voice raises.

I need a reminder.  In my face.  Something beautiful to remind me...

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.  Don't abandon it's beauty!  The calling God has placed on me as a mother is breathtaking.  Remember to breathe. The ability to live fully with JOY, despite the attacks of this world and the one from it, is priceless.  Though the cost is myself.

This week, again, there are three ways to enter to win... and please! Enter all three ways!  I have removed the need to sign in so, whether you are a single person, a mother, a grandmother... A DAD, this is for you.  It is for anyone who needs a little help in this life until THAT DAY.

1. Go check out A Holy Experience and comment below of anything you thought, felt, liked, whatever... from that blog.
2. Follow One Hundred Years Ago by clicking the follow button on the upper right side of this blog.  Leave a comment you have done so.  Current followers: again, just leave a comment that YOU ARE ALREADY FOLLOWING.  If you don't leave a comment, it will not count as an entry.
3. Repost this giveaway to your Facebook.  Just click the little "f" at the bottom of this post, and it's done.  You never know who might need what we are giving away today!  Leave a comment letting me know you posted to your Facebook.

Contest ends Monday at 11:59am (Who was I kidding last week?  I am not up-n-at-em by 7:59 am!)
Good luck to all!

Alicia Grace

Transforming Grace

 The rose was once but a shoot of thorns.

The violin was once not in tune.

The home was once under construction.

The butterfly was once a caterpillar.

The work of art was once a blank canvas.

The gold was once unrefined.

Anything of beauty, of worth, of value... has not always been.

It takes doing.  It takes time. It takes grace.

It takes seeing it before it is.

We just inserted three beams in place of a wall that needed removing.  The beams came  from an old barn on our property that was torn down years ago.  Old, raw, precious wood -- wood with a history -- that has been sitting in piles just waiting for someone to see the worth in it again.

I took to the sander.  Sanding and sanding.  Revealing, beneath the years of weather, between the marks of the saw blade, light. 

Beauty.

And I thought...

What if I hadn't taken this time?  What if I began this work but did not finish it?  What if the task was so big I chose to take an ax to the imperfections instead of the tedious work of sanding?

It's beauty would remain unbeheld.

It would never be appreciated for anything more than old, dirty, unfinished barn wood.

Sure it would be appreciated for what it represents.  Time and purpose...

But would it radiate of freshness, newness, and the splendor that comes only from undergoing transformation?

What if I did hack at the imperfections with an ax?

Scarring the wood.  Deeply.  Undoing not possible.

Are we more than old barn beams... Unrefined gold... Mere caterpillars...?

Like the polishing of river rock under the current of the river, we can lead one another, and our children, to the smoothing waters of Him who made us.  Who made us to be

beautiful.

Refined.

In love...

In love with each other, with life, with Him.

We have got to stop rushing the process with a chain saw when all that was needed was a simple chisel. 

We can no longer jump to the end of the book -- and hope for it to mean something -- with out putting in the time to get to know the story. 

When we say what we see... That is taking an ax to what's un-lovely.  Wounding deeply.

Can we choose to see through God-filtered lenses and speak only His truth?  Will we love -- love intensly what God loves, refusing to see our children/each other any other way? 

And speak that love.

We have the power, in Jesus name, to speak away, like a gentle sanding, that which is harsh, raw, hard, and ugly.

Patient persistence pierces through indifference; 

gentle speech breaks down rigid defenses.   Proverbs 25:15

"Today, I will pray to speak words that are only STRONG words, words that make these children feel strong. Grace words. Grace is the only non-toxic air. All other words I breathe are death words."  Ann Voskamp

Let us be patiently persistant in our dealings with those young or old and speak only words of life...

It is in this practice of GRACE that you will see those raw beams in your life...

tranform.

The End...

No new reports on physical progress... Yet there is still news!   

There once was a family that lived in a desperate-to-them situation for 11 1/2 months.  The man's job kept him away for eight days at a time even though he was 45 seconds down the drive.  This homeschooling, home-body type family of six, while thankful for the roof over their heads, lived in a small two bedroom apartment.  The dad would get four days off, which initially sounded wonderful, but come to find out, they in no way made up for the eight days of his almost complete absence.  Talking with the boss did no good and they were nearing the height of their emotions and the end of their ropes.  Today is the last day at work for that man.  And they lived happily, so happily, ever after...

~The End~

I'm sure you are on top of things enough to know that, without explanation, this is the story of us.  Now Ben and I will be free for 14 days (that's how long we have to be out of our housing) to work endlessly, tirelessly, and quickly!  (Please pray for us if you think of it.)

With the excitement of this long awaited day, the finality of the decision brings with it a slight sense of panic.

Will we have a home of our own in two weeks?  Will we be financially stable?  Will it be quite what we thought it would be when we bought it?  How are we going to fit in that house?  And again: Will we have a home of our own in two weeks????

I shall not doubt.  The Lord gave us the desire of our hearts... it's just that the form in which it was bestowed was to require much work.  So, even with all the good intentions, we just weren't making it happen!  We came to realize that if we were ever to make it our home, if we were ever going to accept the incredible gift (though wrapped in burlap), it was time for us to close this chapter of our lives and step out in the faith that if the Lord provides the first half of the picture, He'll also provide the second half.  So here we are: T- two weeks and counting and relying heavily upon God's goodness.  Lots of unknown, but reality is a good place to dwell: all we can do is all we can do.

I read something inspiring and hopefully (prayerfully!) life changing just this morning.  As a result of that, rather than becoming a huge ball of whacked-out stress and/or turning into a frantic, out of control, losing it far more than usual wife/mother/friend, I am choosing to be thankful for every set back, every frustrating moment, every glimpse of our "To Do" list, and every day that comes to a close that I wish we could have gotten more done.  I am choosing to be joyful (mind over matter, mind over matter...). I am thankful because God gave us this farm... and even if I don't know exactly what we are doing, He knows exactly what He is doing.

And that's all that matters. 

Psalm 23:
The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,  He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

It's not the end... it's just the beginning.  Thank you Jesus.

_________________________________________

Before I go, I need to clarify one thing before this blog continues, we call our property "the farm" and that little title has given rise to many comments!  Given that we have lived on a ranch for the last almost-year, we have had to differentiate between which home we are talking about. "Our house" the ranch -or- "our house" the 4 acre run down place that is more than just a house in town.  So "the farm" is the moniker it's been given whether it is completely accurate by definition or not. Yes, we realize we don't even own farm equipment and obviously, with only 4.1something acres, we have no plan for big business... but what do you call a country home with a small acerage where there are some cows, chickens, a garden, and maybe even a goat or two? I'm thinking you call it a farm; however, if anyone has another name for it, I am open to suggestions!

Really, feel free to name our house... if there is one we really like, there could be something in it for you. (yee-haw!)  Let's hear what you come up with and we'll see if something sticks.